rest.

Mnemonic

2012-01-10T12:33:00.000+07:00

Hello, my virtual depot of consciousness.

So lately I've been thinking and tracking back and realized how much I've grown up. I have a gorgeous friend named Vee whom I knew from Jakarta Fashion Week 2010. We worked together and we got along pretty well. She's half Indonesian, but since she's spent most of her life overseas, she can barely speak Bahasa Indonesia. Through times, we've developed some things between us and I actually learned a lot from her. She's the baddest baddass I've ever seen and I saw plenty of guys are head over heels for her.

She's insanely rich but there's more of her beyond that. She's not the prettiest girl of all (although she IS pretty), but her personality is something I cannot take my eyes off. She's flown off the handle several times, but eventually she always found herself a grip and hung on sturdily to it. She's gone through break-ups, survived through some jerk's traps, and yet always managed to keep her chin up. And if there'e one thing I can say to distinguish her from any other girl is, she always has this swag and she seems to always manage to make her mind up toward stuffs and sticks to it. So that is what actually inspired me to take this certain decision a few days ago.

You see, universe works in a weird way. One day it took something off you, then things went on, world kept spinning around, then it gave that certain something back to your lap. And when that happens, never ever ever trust your heart. It may scream loudly for possessions, but after all, it's merely being insensible. A heart wants what a heart wants, but a heart never know what it wants in the first place after all. If there's one thing I could ever learn from losing something you've once had, is that it's been done for a reason. Once your senses speak for itself, you shall listen. You can let go of anything/anyone, but NEVER of your senses. No matter how hurtful it is, you gotta look up and see what's best for YOU, not your heart only. This is what I've learned from Vee.

A dear friend of mine also asked me a simple question :
"Would you rather be smart or be happy?"
When most people choose the latter, I choose to be smart. Not just because of that I'm a pretentious smart ass, but I think happiness is just a state of mind after all. If you're not happy, your smart mind would be able to manage to manipulate some joyful feelings, I believe.

So, people, if you're being coerced to choose some difficult desicion, ponder about it, sleep it away, take a jiffy breath, and spill it out. Nothing bad that's ever come out of a smart decision. You can be smart AND happy, but you cannot be dumb and happy. Well at least it won't last.

Cheerios, I'll be watching you fade away with a smile while I'm trying to mend my heart up. :)

Let's Take A Vacation To The Outer Space

2011-12-22T03:45:00.001+07:00

P.S :

Not all of the lyrics are relevant, but not all of the lyrics are irrelevant either.

Damn it, woman.

Insensible sensibility

2011-12-22T03:39:00.000+07:00

It's been a while that I didn't mention you in my blog while the fact is, you're often implied.
I keep comparing, you're always winning.
I still replay you in my loneliest nights.
I still put you into my "what-ifs" scenarios.
I tried to walk away, but I always left traces that I could track back.
I tried to talk as if nothing ever happened, but my memories kept refreshing by its own.

I'm not in love, I'm just being insensible.
I'm not in love, but my heart is just being sensible.
I'm NOT in love.
I'm only in jail, counting down my days to freedom, hoping to be bailed out.

The only thing that keeps my chin up is what's left in me after I set you free.
I have to set you free once again.

Looking at everything closely,
Now I know I really have to get you out of my system, forever.

The Umpteenth Life Question

2011-12-19T01:10:00.001+07:00

When everything gets less and less and less every single day, can you enlighten me the way & mere reason you live, struggle, hold on your faith, listen, seek, bear, and most of all, march along?

Just for what it's worth, please tell me. No, whisper to me :
What is it like to be normal? To be nurtured? To have someone to look up to and to share the burden you're weighing?

I've grown bitter and I'm slowly shutting myself down.
I've never heard silence quite this loud, I've never seen vacancy quite this abundant.

Alexander McQueen Spring 2012 RTW

2011-11-19T11:51:00.000+07:00

This is Sarah Burton’s third work on McQueen’s empire since his heartbreaking death last February 2010. This collection of hers emphasizes on 3 Gs : She based her collection on the three Gs : Grès for the pleating and draping, Gaudí for the architecture, and Gaia, the wonder of the sea, for the sense of oceanic life depicted on every piece of clothing. Just like going under the water, we had to hold our breath examining the entire collection. Bet it took profound deliberation to make Sarah decided to take this aquatic theme for McQuen’s Spring 2012 RTW fashion collection, remembering that her forerunner took the same big bottomline for his Spring 2010 collection which was called “Plato’s Atlantis”. The one that distinguishes their own collection is, if Alexander McQueen himself saw the world was threatened by global warming and human being were forced to be trapped in such an apocalyptic oceanic life, Sarah this time took a bit more different path : she saw the life in the sea as something worth worshipped for, softer yet as powerful & mysterious as McQueen had always been.

Pastel colors almost dominated the collection, with dark black & sumptuous coral pieces slipped in between. One thing that we remember the most was those lace masks that wrapped around and seemed to eat the models alive, turned them into some kind of new species of sea creatures. We were all pleased with the parade of sharply constructed blazers & skirts, feathery gown, leather cocktail dresses in which some were formed in barnacle pattern over chiffon. Not to mention the coral, voluminous gown that flows flawlessly on the runway. If it’s really what it’s like to live under the water, bet we all now longs to have scales and fins then dive into the sea and swim between the corals & barnacles.

Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray - Preface

2011-10-31T04:09:00.002+07:00

"The artist is the creator of beautiful things.

To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's aim.

The critic is he who can translate into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful things.

The highest as the lowest form of criticism is a mode of autobiography.

Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault.

Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope.

They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only beauty.

There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.

The 19th century dislike of realism is the rage of Caliban seeing his own face in a glass.

The 19th century dislike of romanticism is the rage of Caliban not seeing his own face in a glass.

The moral life of man forms part of the subject-matter of the artist, but the morality of art consists in the perfect use of an imperfect medium.

No artist desires to prove anything. Even things that are true can be proved.

No artist has ethical sympathies. An ethical sympathy in an artist is an unpardonable mannerism of style.

No artist is ever morbid. The artist can express everything.

Thought and language are to the artist instruments of an art. Vice and virtue are to the artist materials for an art.

From the point of view of form, the type of all the arts is the art of the musician.

From the point of view of feeling, the actor's craft is the type.

All art is at once surface and symbol.

Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril. Those who read the symbol do so at their peril.

It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.

Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the work is new, complex, and vital.

When critics disagree, the artist is in accord with himself.

We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it.

The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely.

All art is quite useless."

-- OSCAR WILDE (The Picture of Dorian Gray - Preface)

(P.S : And the brilliance of this book surely doesn't stop. All of the lines above are only the preface, people. Just thought that Wilde's infatuated me THAT much I needed to post it here.)

La douleur exquise

2011-09-29T23:45:00.005+07:00

CONFIDENTIAL CONTENT

Vagabond

2011-09-28T01:01:00.000+07:00

You know what doesn't make sense?

When some joyful, upbeat rhytms played on your both earlobes, a stack of tasks await to be done in front of your face, stare at your puffy sleepless eyes, yet after all you're still being voluntarily steered by this certain person within your mind.

Tobogganing in the jungle of nonsense thoughts, imagining some unachieved dreams, then get knocked off by reality.

You know what doesn't make sense? When you already have a settled gravity, yet you refuse to stay and be a vagabond instead; wandering around the circle of uncertainty. That is, people, what doesn't make sense.

:)

2011-09-10T09:44:00.001+07:00

5 Best Movies I've Ever Seen in My Entire Life

2011-07-25T16:53:00.005+07:00

I've been coveting to share The 10 Best Movies I've Ever Seen in My Entire Life since I don't know when. I haven't been able to do so because my short list haven't quiet fulfilled what it takes to make it until 10. Well now it finally has, but most likely I'll just post the 5 first. So here goes :

1. Before Sunrise (1995)

Starred by the sweetest greasy-headed guy, Ethan Hawke & the captivatingly decent French girl, Julie Delpy. The story mostly tells about an unexpected encounter between those two who’ve been attracted to each other in a way to another in a train. Both decided to take off the train to spend a day (and a night) together in Vienna (which eversince I’ve been very fond of to come visit to), before the sun rises.
What’s so special about this movie? Nothing, EXCEPT SO many intriguing & witty conversations uttered between the two main characters, in which a lot of them are incredibly similar to my own thoughts. And simply because the romance built between the two. I found it somewhat sweet, as well as depressing (since I haven’t had enough luck to get the same achieved feeling/possession they had). Best quotes on the movie :

“Isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?” (Celine, Before Sunrise)

“Daydream delusion, limousine eyelash / Oh baby with your pretty face / Drop a tear in my wineglass / Look at those big eyes / See what you mean to me / Sweet-cakes and milkshakes / I'm a delusion angel / I'm a fantasy parade / I want you to know what I think / Don't want you to guess anymore / You have no idea where I came from / We have no idea where we're going / Lodged in life / Like branches in a river/ Flowing downstream / Caught in the current / I carry you / You'll carry me / That's how it could be / Don't you know me? / Don't you know me by now?” (Street Poet)

2. Before Sunset (2004)

This is the sequel of Before Sunrise, which was literally filmed 9 freaking years after Before Sunrise (exactly the same period planned by both main characters for them to meet each other again). HOW. COOL. IS. THAT. We can all see the natural wrinkles and other physical alterations the two main characters had developed within time.
This movie mainly tells the story about how they finally met again in France, and of course, wrapped up in some other emotionally witty conversations. Minute after minute, they straightforwardly shared how their life’s been going on since their first otherwordly encounter. Rage was poured, remorse was expressed, as if it was originally made to depict our real life (how life treats us, our regrets, unspoken feelings, achievements, etc). Both of them (actually) had to say another goodbye after sunset, but one thing led to another, and you can say that the story writes its ending by its own. Best quotes :

“I feel like if someone were to touch me, I'd dissolve into molecules.” ~ Jesse, Before Sunset

“You can never replace anyone because everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details.” ~ Celine, Before Sunset

“Memory is a wonderful thing if you don't have to deal with the past.” ~ Celine, Before Sunset

3. Life Is Beautiful / La vita è bella (1997)

Directed and starred by the one and only, ROBERTO BENIGNI. He played as a devoted jewish man who’d finally married to his desired rich woman and had a cute little boy. But when life was going beautiful, faith came along to play his family. His whole family was put into a concentration camp arranged by NAZI (may you enjoy the heat of hell, Fuhrer). The main story of this tearjerker movie depicts Roberto’s struggle & survival to get his family out of that camp. What’s so special about this movie? He set a whole white lie to his only son that the camp was actually a sort of survival game in which the winner would win a tank. Roberto played his role divinely well, he made us giggle, adore, as well as devastated along the twists of the movie.
All in all, this is the kind of movie that gives you a new description of what devotion and sacfrifice really are. Best quote :

"You sleep now. Dream sweet dreams. Maybe we are both dreaming. Maybe this is all a dream, and in the morning, Mommy will wake us up with milk and cookies. Then, after we eat, I will make love to her two or three times. If I can." ~ Guido

4. Mona Lisa Smile (2003)

I fell in love with Julia Roberts & Kirsten Dunst ever since. I love everything about this movie : the 50s circumstances, the conventionality people possessed, the ART discussed, and of course Julia Roberts’ persistent rebellion toward poeple’s conservative mindsets. I felt like cheering along the movie played for that we (I, especially) shared the same thought as hers. Broken dreams, failed achievements, buried hopes, all were portrayed alongside with Julia’s deviant minds. Ah how I love her. So much. Best quotes :

Betty Warren : "Don't disregard out traditions just because you're subversive."
Katherine Watson : "Don't disrespect this class just because you're married."

5. Inception (2010)

Leonardo Dicaprio. That is all. This talented gentleman has once again acted his ass off to give the world a magnificent movie to watch & linger in our mind afterwards. The brilliance of this movie (thank you, Christopher Nolan) is nothing but an awe. All of the puzzling, perplexing yet amusing story fragments leave us in a mindbottling state of consciousness. Every detailed idea within the story is beyond what I’ve ever expected. It’s a hot, tasty dish served in a rubik’s cube within a labyrinth. I cannot even describe what the story tells you about for this is kind of a movie that you should see it yourself for the sake of sanity. Truly a debate-worthy kind of movie. Best quotes :

"[contemplating her totem] An elegant solution for keeping track of reality." ~ Ariadne

"Don't you want to take a leap of faith? Or become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone!" ~ Saito

"What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient... highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it's almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed - fully understood - that sticks; right in there somewhere." ~ Cobb

"Downwards is the only way forwards." ~ Cobb

What about you? What are the best movies you've ever seen? :D

But

2011-06-29T22:50:00.000+07:00

"...But God, what about my feelings, my composure, my own self? When will these all cease?"

Question Mark

2011-06-28T01:26:00.001+07:00

"If Life lives, Love loves, and Man mans up... Why doesn't Death die?"

~ Plaguing thought

Maroon 5 Live in Jakarta 2011

2011-05-02T11:38:00.003+07:00

Yaw. Nothing much, I just want to update you guys about the hyped concert I attended a week ago. Yes, I'm trying my ass off to look solemn and calm here (whilst the fact is I'm not and totally wasn't).

useful advice : I think when ur piece of shirt gets all wet, it's healtier to take it off. For the sake of masuk angin prevention. Note that, Adam.

(Don't judge me. C'mon, LOOKATTHATABS!)

So as you can see, I'm a major Maroon 5 fan and sure, the concert was satisfying. I sat not too far from the stage, approximately less than 50 metres. The lighting kicked ass, the sound rocked the building out, the band was absolutely awesome, and the singer (Adam Levine), was very very very very very attractive. The crowd was in an utter hysteria and I was jawbroken. Since then I've been thinking that Adam Levine is surreal due to his perfection (for those who go "pffssssshhhht, exaggerating much?" toward my former opinion, P.S : you're just jealous either because of the lack of perfection u possess or simply just some pathetic cynics. I forgive you.). Anyhow, it was all friggin' worth it.

OMGPEOPLESERIOUSLYITWASLIKEADREAMCAMETRUE. Thank You, God.

Ugh this isn't healthy, I've been living in a dream since then and I cannot seem to wake up (yet). Splash me some liquor?

P.S :
Meanwhile, at the backstage before the show, Adam Levine randomly created some song for Jakarta :

And this is the moment that made all the fanatic girl fans went high :

Positivism Behind Pessimism

2011-04-12T23:57:00.001+07:00

There's always one moment in everyone's life di mana kita harus milih antara loving ourselves to the fullest atau choose not to be selfish dan ngebagi our only own selves dengan orang lain. And when this happens, People, bagi gw rasanya kaya disuruh milih antara makan daging sepuasnya, atau dapet free pass nonton any kind of festival movie di bioskop, atau special spot nonton full jazz/bossa concert. How in the world can I possibly decide?

Well anyhow, I just found out kalo orang udah sering jatoh, lama kelamaan pasti either jadi makin strong, atau pessimistic, atau cynical, atau just plain ignorant. Buruk? Nggak juga. Menurut gw, people need to be more ignorant and pay less attention to petty stuffs. Karena semakin banyak kita tau tentang banyak hal, semakin depressed kita jadinya. Yang ada ujung-ujungnya kebanyakan mikir "should've/would've/what-ifs", dan yang ada otak makin scattered. I also think that harusnya falling in love itu jadi luxury tiap orang, bukan accident yang ironisnya, dirayain. Regardless the fact bahwa love emang literally feels gleeful, harusnya itu sifatnya precious, bukan accidental dan spontaneous. You fall in love because you choose to do so, you let yourself to do so, bukannya nerima kenyataan bahwa falling in love itu tiba-tiba dan terus pasrah.

I know some people who have been in love dan nggak well prepared akan hal itu (*ahem*), and they ended up helplessly screwed over. Do fall in love when you're ready, not when you're lonely, indeed. And lately gw mulai sadar pentingnya standarisasi/kualifikasi pasangan ideal bagi diri masing-masing. No, I'm not talking about perfection or anything that comes nearer to it (karena as far as I know, yang paling deket sama perfection itu arrogance dan plain naivety). I'm talking about apa yang harusnya kita cari di orang lain, kualitas-kualitas yang mau kita liat, rasain, pelajarin dari orang lain. Example, gw suka laki-laki (I'm not a lesbian, if any of you wonder) yang artsy, pinter, humoris, dan ramah. I don't ask for good finance to come altogether with those all, karena toh uang gainable kalo lo udah punya self-quality yang emang promising. Tapi, masalahnya, emang ada manusia yang kaya gitu? EMANG ADA???

Well, there is. There are some, in fact, somewhere out there. But then again, they don't belong in my life, ever. Images tentang orang-orang bertipe kaya gitu paling perfect kalo hidup di dalem bayangan gw aja. Bagus sih, karena kalo setiap manusia bisa ngedapetin orang sesuai dengan tipe idamannya masing-masing, kebayang ngga sih kita semua jadi se-obsessive dan possessive apa? Well the point is, standarisasi/kualifikasi tipe pasangan itu penting untuk dijadiin bahan acuan.

But there's a but. A big fat BUT. Setelah sekian lama kita hidup di dalam semua naivety itu, akan ada saatnya di mana kita ketemu orang yang sangat jauh dari apa yang selama kita ini aimed for. And when that happens, you can only do one thing : ADJUST. Deal with every meagre fact bahwa things always go wrong, in a way.

Either lo jomblo, a romantic lover, a single yang sok kuat, a devastated ex-lover, helplessly devoted to a stranger u barely know of, or merely happy in whatever circumstance, inget bahwa pessimism ngga selalu buruk. Pessimism is underrated. At least it teaches you to anticipate dan ngga bergantung sama safety net terus. Man up. Safety net pun ngga sekuat itu juga kok, it still has a lot of holes on it.

Just like every attempt and hope u've ever built in ur life, every disappointment is worth the wait and try kok. Sekalinya kita udah dikecewain (akan standarisasi/kualifikasi yang ngga pernah terpenuhi, atau apapun), we'd grow not only stronger, but also more cautious and independent. You've got nothing to lose. Kalo toh kita kehilangan sesuatu pada akhirnya, toh nanti akan ada substitute yang ngisi spot yang kosong itu. Trust me. God never fail managing any thing kok.

Reflex

2011-04-12T22:45:00.001+07:00

"When one gets hurt too often, not showing any obvious scar off to the world is almost a biological reflex."

~S.A.

Black and White

2011-03-07T02:40:00.000+07:00

"Black-and-white isn't monotonous; it's decisive and unequivocal."

~ Plaguing Thought

Beep.

2011-03-02T00:05:00.001+07:00

"And after all of the mixed signals I’ve received, I’ll finally find my own compatible transmitter."

~ Plaguing Thought

Ghost

2011-03-01T23:59:00.000+07:00

~ Jesse, Before Sunrise (1995)

Lonely Couple

2011-02-24T23:06:00.001+07:00

Lonely couple.

Drowned in stagnancy, blurred memories, and lost in their own selves.

How sad.

Buzz!

2011-02-24T21:35:00.003+07:00

"When your heart got electrified, how do you turn off your feelings?"

~ Plaguing Thought

My Tumblr Account : captureDistraction.

2011-02-24T21:29:00.000+07:00

What distracts people from their pace, life, reality, sanity?

Plaguing thoughts? Withdrawn intentions? Passionate love? Utter amusement?
And what captures it?

Nothing but memories; but then again, nothing could preserve it to make it timelessly linger.

When distractions manifest, some people get consumed and rant. Meanwhile me myself, get blown away and take the best out of it. Captured distraction is something to ponder, something to wonder. And here I am, capturing the distractions, mending the misfits, enliving the life, as if I’d never been.

See captured distractions here.

Major Representation Failure

2011-02-24T21:18:00.001+07:00

I always thought I would shape myself, settle myself down to be a good girlfriend and/or girl friend material someday.

Today, I’m going on 21, and I just realized I’ve ~~failed~~ achieving both.

God, I suck at representating myself to the opposite sex.

Flight of Fancy

2011-02-04T00:17:00.002+07:00

I often don't demand a lot. I don't ask for someone to bear my annoyance, to shed my tears, to serenade during my bitter nights.

Sometimes, creating someone I have an eye on to live within my mind is enough. The surreal imagination is enough. The mere idea of you, is enough.

You see, I don't demand a lot. I may look greedy and needy, but what I need the most now is a simple satisfaction. And as simple as that, you've granted it.

Compassion of Men

2011-02-03T06:17:00.001+07:00

"I feel so sorry because, we, men, can’t give you, women, a result you deserve. Till death. We will never do. Never was. Never would be. All we can give to you, women, are process of learning. For getting better in every chances you give to us. So, don’t you ever dare to say that we, men, are not good enough for you. All you need to know is… from so many women in the world, we choose one of you. And we will try our best even if there’s a failure in our way. You, women, you’re all worth to fight for. Even when others or even our parents would dare say you’re not worth enough, we, men, would always think, you are all worth to fight for. Paris and helen of troy have done so. Because for us, men, world is always ended up for someone."

~ A quote by Anatasof Wirapraja. (In the attempt of any consolation, I feel sorry too that we, women, always buy these kind of words and fall for it, over and over again, no matter how bullcrappish, garish, and deceptive those are.)

Enough Acceptance

2011-02-01T23:33:00.001+07:00

Want to talk about acceptance? Well here’s the thing : Everybody will never be enough.

You see, back when you’re still a kid, your parents kept some insights from you and said, “you’re not old enough”. At another point, you found somebody you had a crush on that’s too good to be true and you said to yourself, “you’re not pretty enough”. Another moment, you finally chased something worth craving for, or did something you liked, and one day you failed, you mumbled to your own sad self, “you’re still not good enough”. This persistently and continunously happened, even until you had moved on from your former failures and started focusing on your priorities. But then again, deep down u sometimes whined, “this is not gonna be enough”, and that moment, the Time was the only culprit that restrained.

When you feel like you’re never enough, you realize one thing : you disappoint everyone. Universe and people conspire to bring you down on your knees, violate your very self with self-disappointment and (sometimes) decreasing self-esteem. A friend of mine said that every suicide has its own murderer : society. Society (people, to this matter) consciously know that perfection is surreal, yet they all expect everything to be the contrary. When someone makes mistake, others expect his/her to mend it, recover it, to finally please themselves.

People always insist. People always push you to the brink, fulfill their hopes and empty your capacity of it. Why?

Why do we (as a tiny fraction of people) all have to agree to disagree on something? Why do we have to demand others to please us every single time and giving significantly nothing to them in return? Why is acceptance never worth-actualizing enough? Why is everyone never enough?

When people are being told that they’re not enough (smart, good, pretty, etc), they rant to satisfy their need of anger, to violate their own patience, to merely express. But when people point their fingers to others, telling that they’re not enough either, we all should see the thin line. Enough is enough. The definition is clear, the limit is vaguely indefinite.

So noone, nobody, should’ve thought that someone else’s not enough. Because, just because, everybody has their own enough limit already to be appreciated, and enough companion already to be a judge : God.

Question Me Not

2011-02-01T17:11:00.001+07:00

"Doubt me, and I'll disappoint. Trust me, and I'll satisfy."

~ Myself, toward underestimative, cynical people.

DEFINE!

2011-01-13T07:13:00.000+07:00

re·la·tion·ship [ree-ley-shuh n-ship] – A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other.

-------------(I mean, how ridiculous can one get? “Connection existing between people”?! What are we, Siamese twins? “related to” Um, no. Gross. “Dealings with each other”? We don’t have dealings, we have intercourse! Crazy, “here put this on” intercourse! Clearly, Robin and I are not in a “relationship.” But since Lily refuses to let it go, I thought I’d offer up some better definitions of how two people choose to interact… well, the PG version anyway.)

hook·ing up [hoo-k-ing up] - When two people do it, consistently, but aren’t hanging out during daylight hours – unless it’s for the express purpose of getting it on.

hang·ing out [hang – ing – owt] – The process of participating in an organized activity together – such as a movie or dinner - followed shortly thereafter by furious banging.

see·ing where things are go·ing [see-ing wair things ahr going] – The process in which two people hang out, hook up, and do everything they can not to think about what it means.

da·ting – [day-ting] – 1) The first time seeing where things are going fails. 2) Hanging out without the guarantee of sex.

marr·iage – [marr-edge] see: suicide.

play·ing the field – [play-ing the feeeeld] – Banging as many people as possible.

just friends – [just frends] – Two people who probably could’ve banged that one night but didn’t and it’s been a little weird ever since. They’ve thought about it, though.

Barn·man and Rob·in [barn-man and rob-in] – A delightful and humorous play on words meant to equate Barney Stinson and Robin Scherbatsky with popular comic book superheroes Batman and Robin, but instead of fighting crime they like to have sex in public places… but they do sometimes wear costumes, so… yeah.

awesome definition's written by : Barney Stinson

Source.

Barney Stinson's Video Resume

2011-01-13T06:44:00.000+07:00

.......I'm not sure what to say....

High-Fashioned Kids

2011-01-11T03:02:00.003+07:00

"Is high-fashion actually appropriate for kids?"

are these merely aimed to add some cheeky perspective on The Paris Vogue? Or plainly show an obnoxious obsession of fashion possessed by kids?

YOU decide.

Source.

Somewhere between 2010 and 2011

2010-12-31T07:30:00.012+07:00

Somewhere between 2010 and 2011, I realized that unlike many other people I know, I’m a person who remembers AND forgets too much stuffs at the same time. I cannot precisely remember what I’ve done in the past 2 or 3 years, who I was with, where I’ve been, or how I got into problems. Yet I vaguely forget what happened in 2010, from the very dawning, to the very ending. I love the idea of remembering too much, and forgetting too much. Makes it even.

Life Is Wonderful-jason mraz.mp3

January 2010 was mediocre. The end of the month added something new up to my life, molded me into the way I am now.

February 2010. The moment of when curiosity took its toll.

March 2010 defined the true meaning of self-adjustment in its best way.

April 2010. I turned 20, considered to be the moment of when I left my adolescence, but turned out, pretty much not.

May 2010. The time warped for a whole month.

June 2010 was a month of when blossoms were fully blooming.

July 2010. A month of self-respect and revival. Good friends had never felt that good.

August, September, October 2010. Nothing fancy had happened. Only life had taught me an utter independence. Reminded me of yes, shit happens, yet toilet-flush is always available to help out.

November 2010. The moment of when a pile of life fractions struck me by its long-time vanishing. I could not care less.

December 2010. A month of elimination. Some good stuffs lingered, some other obnoxious stuffs were annihilated. My heart broke as some of my good friends are leaving. Reality had slapped me in the face with its irresistible existence.

Now that I’m done making a brief summary of this year’s events, I’m looking up to the 2011 and its upcoming chances and opportunity. New luck, new hope, new life-definition. I’m saying goodbye to what has happened on 2010, hoping I’d forget some like I always did. Au revoir, tiny fractions. May life treat you all the way you treated me.

I’m ready to rejuvenate. So.

Dear 2011, I only hope you’d listen me more than 2010.

Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong

2010-12-22T01:16:00.000+07:00

This is the BEST sarcasm* I've ever found about the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) issue. Homophobics really have to read all of these points and vomit on their own faces.

Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong :

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets, because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

*source : originally posted by some random guy on Yahoo! Answer. God bless him.

Best (and) Companionship (?)

2010-12-08T18:13:00.003+07:00

"I myself am best
When least in company."

~ William Shakespeare (Twelfth Night 1.4.37-8, ORSINO TO VIOLA, as Cesario)

Putting the arrogancy this quote slightly shows aside, that, in a way, is true. Dwelling in solitary, indeed lets us to be ourselves that we always have been known. No need to kiss others' ass, play any hypocrisy game, nor manipulate our very own mind. Doesn't it make you wonder what the whole point of companionship is?

Surprise!

2010-12-08T17:50:00.001+07:00

Honestly, sometimes I love the idea of how most people think about me. They think I'm just a useless moron, so that whenever I achieve something good, they get surprised.

Getting surprised feels good, but surprising others definitely feels way better.

Love, As in Molecular Form

2010-12-06T02:24:00.004+07:00

The molecule above spells "LOVE" as a molecular structure, using the one-letter code of proteins and peptides : Leucine (L), Pyrrolysine (O), Valine (V) and Glutamic Acid (E)*. Not interested enough? Check some of the moleculized (as if that's even a word) greetings out, just for fun (or for use) here.

*navigate away to here if you don't get it.

A Good Chemistry

2010-12-06T01:59:00.004+07:00

What's a chemistry anyway? A person having a certain bubbly feeling to another, whether it's reciprocal or not, yet it has to be something between two persons, defined as one same meaning only.

"A kind of magic
One dream one soul one prize one goal
One golden glance of what should be
Its a kind of magic"

(A Kind of Magic, Queen)

But what's a good chemistry then? How can a person distinguish a good and a bad one, when what they feel is most of the times self-justified as always good? A good chemistry doesn't need another's flap-back, a good chemistry doesn't require a perfect terms and conditions, a good chemistry doesn't have to be all jaunty, ooey-gooey-ish-ly distinctive. As much as I miss it, a good chemistry also requires a willingness : to hold one's ego back. And as effing cliche as this may sound, a good chemistry means two heart speak as one language, two minds work the same way, two differentials resemble as somehow, one same value and merit. Yes : a good, well-approved conformity in each other, amidst all of their own differences. Having a good chemistry is shown by being eager to constantly have a Time Warp with another under any circumstances. When most people (I'm sometimes also included) often confuse themselves with that bubbly feeling they have and hardly decide which kind of (good or bad) chemistry they posess, or misunderstand it by over-interpreting it, a good chemistry doesn't work either way around.

When someone's having a good chemistry, s/he doesn't need to acknowledge themselves or be acknowledged as having one; s/he just simply knows it, in a certain divine kind of way.

Marginalized's Party

2010-12-02T16:16:00.002+07:00

"After all, what's a cult? It just means not enough people to make a minority."

~ Robert Altman, in Guardian, 11 Apr 1981

Ground Rule of Life Survival

2010-12-02T16:14:00.002+07:00

"Nil carborundum illegitimi."

(Mock-Latin proverb translated as "don't let the bastards grind u down")

QUEEN

2010-11-30T14:55:00.004+07:00

Speaking of absolute awesomeness and a band in one word : QUEEN. Indeed.

"Im a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
Im a racing car passing by like lady godiva
Im gonna go go go
There's no stopping me"

"I gotta be cool relax, get hip
Get on my tracks
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motor bike
Until Im ready
Crazy little thing called love"

"Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Wanna try?
You wanna try..."

"Insanity laughs under pressure, we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can't we give love that one more chance?
Why can't we give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love?
'Cos love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves
This is our last dance"

"Your momma and your daddy gonna
Plague me til I die
Why can't they understand Im just a
Peace lovin guy
Tie your mother down
Tie your mother down"

"Spread your little wings and fly away
Fly away, far away
Pull yourself together
Cos you know you should do better
That's because your a free man"

I'd let myself go through a serious hunger for a week just to somehow go watch QUEEN's concert.

"I won't be a rock star. I will be a legend."

~ Freddie Mercury

RIP, Farrokh Bulsara (popularly known as Freddie Mercury), 5 September 1946 – 24 November 1991. This overly talented guy's musical legacy will endlessly linger in my life.

~~Damn it, AIDS.~~

Anti-climax

2010-11-22T21:03:00.003+07:00

"Just because it's written in english, doesn't make it brilliant."

~ Myself, weeks ago, responding to a guy who exaggerated the brilliance of my blog when the owner itself is sometimes ashamed of what her blog possesses.

Selfdom

2010-11-20T10:30:00.003+07:00

So here goes the catchphrase : you are who you are. Does it mean that if u're single, or taken, or waiting in vain, or having finger embedded with shiny rock, or even just has been released from a binding leash, then u literally are one of those? U better are not.

A friend of mine startled me earlier yesterday by referring to the Carrie Bradshaw when defining the way I write in this blog. It actually made me ponder about the idea of her character thinks and works : differently, typical, in her own kind of way. Let me elighten u by telling how this all works with the catchphrase at the first place. Why are u, urself? What makes u, urself? And how do u manage to mantain to be urself?

I sort of see that most of the times in our lifes, we picked the dealt cards, we opted the given choices, and we self-presented the varies of set-up appearances. But as the time ran further, we've unconsciouscly been molded into what we seem now : single, taken, waiting in vain, having finger embedded with shiny rock, or even just has been released from a binding leash, etc. Albeit some are always grasping their own identity tightly, some others are losing it.

The identity of who they really, personally, and utterly are, is mishifted, misused, and misinterpreted. So what we need to do here now is dig a little deeper on the why, what, and how.

Why are we ourselves like we are now? Why are u, for example, single? U may choose one : u're simply cursed by heartless demons, or u're actually blissfully protected by God.

What makes us, ourselves? When this comes to a committed lover, instead of a "because love completes me, juxtaposes me with him/her beautifully altogether", they shall say, "because I decided to be fair with somebody else, to equally treat others in lovable way, indeed by our own personal willingness".

Then how do u manage urself to maintain to be urself? Simplify ur answer : "it's because u have the utter control of urself, and not not affected by any kind of coercion from others to do any of the opposite deed".

One hook that connects the dots here is : "we are who we literally have been"; either it means sane, insane, smart, silly, independent, free, bitchy, whatever. It's YOU. Nobody, nothing, no time could ever alter us into someone new. Never ever lose urself in what everybody else is transforming u into. Single, taken, waiting in vain, having finger embedded with shiny rock, or even just has been released from a binding leash, doesn't matter. Because the whole book of life u've been working on, has to be something personal; with no rule, label, status, or certain stereotype from others involved.

Change : The Question.

2010-11-18T21:51:00.002+07:00

Why can't people realize that every kind of relationship always means to change either situations or characteristics of persons involved within it? Does that actually mean that every human being was born so erroneously they need to be changed?

Do realistically, we change to live, or do we live to change?

It Is.

2010-11-18T01:15:00.000+07:00

it's a dream.

it is.

Little Note

2010-10-31T06:05:00.001+07:00

Note this.

Truth is, not all people came to stay forever in our life. Some are meant to step in and walk away afterwards, leaving a mere after-scent to linger there for indefinite time. As unexpected as you found them at the first place, sometimes they are the ones who have promised you not to leave, and have made your days brighter, or in other words, those are people who potentially could hurt you the most. Hence for what it's worth, their absence does prevent you from being hurt by a deepest scar, or even some meagre painful memories.

Truth is, you don't always see what you want to see, you don't always feel what you want to feel, and you don't always have what you want to have. But above all, you eventually will always get what you need. And that, is the most decent justice God won't ditch you from.

Jakarta Fashion Week 2010/2011 : Menuju Jakarta, Kota Mode Dunia!

2010-10-21T22:25:00.009+07:00

"Jangan kaget apabila beberapa saat ke depan, Jakarta menjadi salah satu kota mode dunia!"

Jakarta Fashion Week 2010/2011 akan segera digelar!

Ya, bagi Kamu yang merupakan para pengamat, penggemar, profesional, maupun sekedar pecinta fashion, bersiaplah, karena acara tahunan fashion terbesar di Indonesia akan kembali digelar tahun ini. Kosongkan jadwal Kamu pada tanggal 6-12 November 2010 mendatang, karena Jakarta Fashion Week (JFW) 2010/2011 akan segera hadir kembali di salah satu mal ternama di ibukota, yakni Pacific Place.

Acara JFW tahun ini akan dimeriahi oleh 113 desainer Indonesia, dengan mengusung satu tema utama, yakni "Styling Modernity". Modernitas dipilih sebagai tema utama kareana karya-karya busana yang akan ditampilkan diharapkan akan menimbulkan kesan kekinian yang baru, yang berbeda dari sebelum-sebelumnya. Menanggapi pemilihan tema ini, Svida Alisjahbana, Presiden Direktur Femina Group dan Pembina JFW 2010/2011 mengatakan dalam konferensi pers JFW 2010/2011 beberapa waktu lalu,

"Modernitas itu sangat penting dalam fashion. Bentuk, potong, dan sebagainya. Artinya, kegunaan seseorang dalam dunia kontemporer. Jadi bagaimana kita membawa keberagaman budaya, keberagaman warisan kain, dan lain-lain."

Tidak hanya itu, susunan acara JFW tahun ini akan dibagi menjadi 5 sesi utama, yakni :

Fashion Show karya para desainer yang tergabung dalam dua organisasi fashion terbesar di Indonesia, yakni APPMI (Asosiasi Perancang Pengusaha Mode Indonesia) dan IPMI (Ikatan Perancang Muda Indonesia).
Fashion Show karya para desainer independen, seperti Oscar Lawalata, Ghea Panggabean, Ari Seputra, dan lain-lain.
Pemberian dua penghargaan atau awards bagi para desainer muda yang terpilih, yakni Cleo Fashion Award dan LPA (Lomba Perancang Aksesoris) 2010.
Fashion Show dari CTI (Citra Tenun Indonesia) dan para lulusan LPM (Lomba Perancang Mode) Femina yang terdahulu, yang kini telah sukses berkiprah di dunia mode, seperti Carmanita, Chossy Latu, Itang Yunazs, Billy Tjong, Andreas Odang, dan Eny Ming.
Dewi Fashion Night, yakni pagelaran busana oleh para desainer yang sudah mapan dan memiliki visi khusus, seperti Priyo Oktaviano, Ali Charisma, Stella Risa, dan Tex Saverio.

Apakah hanya itu? Tentu tidak! Petty S. Fatimah, Pemimpin Redaksi Majalah Femina mengatakan, bahwa akan ada parade kebaya dari para desainer Indonesia pada saat pembukaan JFW nanti. Mengapa kebaya? Dalam konferensi pers, Petty menambahkan,

"Kebaya bisa dijadikan identitas Indonesia. Mudah-mudahan 100 kebaya berbeda, yang dibuat oleh para desainer Indonesia, baik yang sudah established dan sukses maupun desainer-desainer muda."

Kebaya yang akan ditampilkan nanti juga bukan sekedar kebaya konvensional yang seringkali kita lihat, melainkan model kebaya-kebaya baru yang telah dimodifikasi, direstrukturisasi, dan diselaraskan dengan tema utama JFW kali ini, yakni gaya fashion yang menjunjung modernitas. Dengan demikian, voila! Jadilah kebaya dengan sentuhan modern. Menarik sekali, bukan?

Tetapi, acara istimewa yang akan ditampilkan tak hanya itu. Pada JFW 2010/2011 mendatang, Kamu juga dapat menyaksikan peragaan busana khusus oleh desainer senior Indonesia, Ghea Panggabean, untuk memperingati 30 tahun masa berkaryanya di kancah dunia mode Indonesia. Selain itu, Oscar Lawalata, yang telah meraih penghargaan International Young Creative Enterpreneur (IYCE) 2009, juga akan menampilkan pagelaran busana khususnya nanti.

Acara Jakarta Fashion Week tahun ini adalah yang keempat kalinya digelar di ibukota, dan diselenggarakan oleh Azura Activation (bagian dari Femina Group). Adanya antusiasme publik dan sponsor-sponsor yang mendukung seperti Mazda, The Body Shop, Maybelline, serta pihak-pihak lain yang suportif seperti Sunsilk Co-Creations, BNI, dan Pemerintah Provinsi DKI Jakarta-lah yang membantu merealisasikan terselenggaranya acara fashion terbesar yang kian dinanti oleh para pecinta mode di Indonesia ini.

Dan tahukah Kamu? Acara ini adalah sebuah upaya untuk menjadikan Jakarta sebagai kota salah satu kota mode di dunia, menyandingi kota Milan, Tokyo, New York, London, dan lainnya. Jadi, jangan kaget apabila beberapa saat ke depan, Jakarta menjadi salah satu kota mode dunia! Nah, jika Kamu tertarik untuk datang dan menyaksikan acara fashion tahunan terbesar di Indonesia ini, tunggu apa lagi??? Segera klik link-link di bawah ini!

Jadwal JFW 2010/2011
pemesanan tiket invitation : email ke sini
www.jakartafashionweek.co.id
Facebook Jakarta Fashion Week
Twitter Jakarta Fashion Week
Youtube jakarta Fashion Week

atau hubungi : Dalyanta Sembiring / Zunainah

Gedung Femina ; Jl. H. R. Rasuna Said Kav. B 32-33 Jakarta 12910

Telp : 021-526 6666 ext. 4151

Faks : 021-526 2131

Email : dalyanta.sembiring@feminagroup.com /

zunainah.zunainah@feminagroup.com

Living Large

2010-10-20T06:55:00.002+07:00

Scratch the itch.

Yawn the drowse.

Laugh the jest.

Weep the woe.

Kiss the love.

Sneeze the dust.

Stroll the lane.

Leap the gap.

Run the range.

Live your life wholly. Live it large, live it the way it has to be; because, just because, you deserve your life.

Work Your Cheeks Out (part 1)

2010-10-15T01:08:00.001+07:00

Laugh these photos away, in case ur life's too tedious to be smiled at.

.....and have a couple of healthy cheeks! :D

Little Blackbox

2010-10-14T00:16:00.003+07:00

What would happen if we had our very own mysterious blackbox somewhere around our heart's corner that could be analyzed under certain emergencies? Would there be darkest histories? Best kept secrets? Denied truths and facts? Deepest scars? Happiest laughters? Old flames? Drained tears? Unspoken love? Dreadful sins? Blurred smiles? Silent hatreds? Cancelled dreams?

Or merely......

Purposively forgotten memories?

Love, As in An Unreciprocal Glance to A Mirror

2010-10-13T23:24:00.003+07:00

How do u describe satisfaction and happiness? What are u without ur beloved companion? No, what would actually define you?

Pardon me for rudely jumping into rough conclusion.

But I think there are just too many unhappy people that can barely stand their own selves; they overcome the solitude and uneasiness they've been possessing by seeking someone else to share their life with, creating some sort of dream to dwell in, to ease the anguish, to indulge their lonely inner soul, to distract their hatred toward utter loneliness. Some said love comes to those who's able to love others, but I never understand why love could've wanted to approach those who can't even love their own personal selves, alone. Just like an ignored shadow that follows them, unanswered call-outs within, and an unreciprocal glimpse to a mirror. How sad.

H

2010-09-05T10:15:00.001+07:00

“Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply; those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire.” (Kurt Tucholsky)

Ricordi Tempesta

2010-08-22T01:07:00.004+07:00

Now let me ask u something. Do u have enough guts to take a slight sight to ur past? Do go on read this post if u dare, but please kindly ~~ditch~~ it if u couldn't bear any memories u've left behind.

Let me take u to the high school years. Mine, yours, ours, anyone's. Those were the years we thought would last forever, those were the laughters we thought would never fade away, those were the tears we thought would never dry out. But then, here we are, standing afore the footmarks we printed on the ground behind. Time fleed, pain's been healed, smile's been blurred; only memories remain. It's funny how our memories were created by each and every tad bit of littlest unnecessary things of our days and everything that's attached to them :

That crumpled shirt u tried to hide from those fierce teachers that passed u by,

Those mean jokes u threw at mean people u hated,

Those last minutes of class when all u longed for was the bell to yell out loud,

That little corner u used to cry at during ur loneliest times,

Those meaningful silent smirks u shared with ur bestpals,

That most delicious canteen food u dreamt of in every single boring minute in class,

That door u used to anxiously knock when u're late to arrive,

Those insanely fast heartbeats u had during those insanely hard examinations,

Those fucked up homeworks u wished to burn down,

Those silly jumpy feelings that came to ur heart when he/she mentioned ur name,

Those evilish angers u held deep down,

That modest, wise tree u used to sit under,

Those fun swearings u shared with ur friends on those damned days,

That humongous smile u unintentionally made when teachers praised u,

Those naive plans and big dreams u drew on that bright loose day,

And even those shoelaces u viciously ignored in hasty times.

Sometimes, u miss them. Crazily enough, u sometimes do like crazy. U start to ponder what's put u into 'this', u start to wonder what's happened eversince. The flashbacks u cannot abide start to slowly eat u up, and it's all ur choice either to leave it linger or dump it once again. U realize that ur life's changed a hell of lot, more and more than u've ever imagined and wished for. Where did u get this contemplation u always have now? How could u get those wrinkles on ur faces during even non-serious moments now? And why did u choose to forget all of those bouncy days for the future (present)'s sake? Now u start to get perplexed and stuck inbetween of ur past and present, and it's all becoming more mindbottling since u're always running out of time now. U might even start to search any missing puzzle of ur big memories within ur brain archives, and when u've got nothing else to search for, u might get sad and in the sudden need of a very nostalgic meeting with ur old pals, for the sake of those old sparking times. And u might end up in a warm reunion with ur lovely old friends, catching up with each others, in attempt to pay off the losses that time's stolen from u.

Or u might just let go off those bittersweet memories, for the sake of ur valuable present time. And u might try to sleep it away, making an easier way out : thinking that u're not the only one who's even walked in these shoes and continued the journey toward the future. And if it really happened, u could not tell which is more devastating : leaving all the memories behind and shifting away; or having a conscious, convincing belief that this kind of ricordi tempesta could happen again, someday, some way.

Bubble People

2010-08-19T05:37:00.000+07:00

Do u know what's funny? Human's vanity and how unrighteous that is. Human beings are proudly said to be all about intelligence, brilliance, perfection, and everything near to it. But you see, the fact is, humans are too dumb. They need to be blind to be able to see; they need to be deaf to be able to listen; they need to be wounded to cherish health; they need solitude to be able to appreciate companionship; they need to fail to be able to succeed; they need to fall to aviate; they need hatred to love; and they need to lose things to be able to get things. So the vanity's left unproven. It's plain stupid.

Seeing this, I thought of something I've never thought about before. In some kind of love relationship, human tend to get attached to their love partner/companion. Every couple seem overjoyed and overwhelmed by the presence of each other's love partner. They humanely tend to see the world differently : less tedious, less vicious, and more splendid. They somehow increase the need of each other's involvement and presence to some sort of a higher level; a man needs his woman everytime, everywhere, and vice versa. The one's absence is saddening to another; they start to get addicted to each other; they voluntarily start to cling themselves to each other. But as we all know, too much of things is never good since it eventually may bring an unfortunate. Every happy couple are too blown away by their overflowing love, they don't see anything else but it. They live in their own bubble, they rotate and go around toward their own pivot, and unintentionally choose to exclude themselves out of social life. The decrease time left to spend with other friends is one of the measurements. But no, this is not just a shallow judgement nor an over-generalized assumption (hopefully so), but admittably, every couple has this kind of tendency. The worst thing is, once one has gotten too attached to another, it's clearly hard to be apart and let go. So this explains why every goodbye hurts : because the very world they've created before has fallen into pieces, the perfect, shiny bubble they've once blown up has torn apart. They no longer belong to their own habitate, feel wobbly, and even alienated sometimes. When this happens eventually, every lonely person needs an alteration. No, they don't need to change or transform; they just need to adapt : mix and mingle (literally) like they used to. And back to how it all started, they need to see the light after they've been blinded; they all need to wake up after dreaming; and they need to socialize after the exclusion.

I know this is subjective, but I thank God I'm back, out and about to see a whole lot of world and universe again. Every couple has their own right to build their own bubble to dwell in, but every person surely has their own very right to broaden their vision, mix and mingle with other human beings. It's just a matter of personal choice, in which side someone chooses to buy and make it priority to complete, instead of to complicate their life.

Incepting an Idea of Inception

2010-08-12T23:22:00.005+07:00

Let me be honest. I’m not THAT clever to be able to pin down the every little detail in this movie and interpret it all brilliantly. I’m simply blunt, and so this post might be too.

Inception has oftenly been declared as one of the brightest movies ever made, and I couldn’t agree more. Nolan has indeed incepted all the audiences with the idea about how an idea could mold another major one without involving a conscious technical nor physical process, if u know what I mean. The idea of incepting a simple idea is what i call ingenious. Nolan could’ve made a little more complex movie extraction rather than just this, but he surely might've ended up like any other complicated ideas : ~~failed~~. Despite the mere simplicity, Nolan has complicated that simple idea a bit (or pretty much?) to make us think, ponder, wobbly, or even question our own faith. And this movie has surely successfully achieved them all.

As simple as that, Nolan has planted a well-formed original idea/imagination he's made by himself to us, that got us convinced and questioned about the reality in which we actually shouldn’t have wondered about. The visual and sound effects were all good, but the presentation is what really stunned me. Even the smallest part of the dream layer like Totem or The Kick that unexpectedly became some of the most important part of the mission, tickled me a bit :

Why did they choose those stuffs to symbolize and represent it as their own totems? How the hell could Cobb get his wife’s totem when in fact, his wife made it while they’re IN their limbo? How does the spinning top actually work? And heck, how could anyone possibly distinguish a reality and a dream, when they consciously know the fact that the spinning top would prefectly spin around endlessly if it’s in reality and wouldn’t if it is in the dream, but they subconsciously DON’T know that?

There are some interesting points I’d like to list here :

1. TOTEM. Sure yeah, a tiny stuff one made by oneself that’s so personal, ‘magical’, and yet powerful enough that could bring ur consciousness deep down into ur subconsciousness so that u’d be able to know whether u’re in dream or in reality. U see and feel the totem, u’re in reality, and vice versa. To me, my totem might be my own thoughts. If i could buy and hold my own thought like ‘I’m in a dream now’, then the fact is, i absolutely am NOT.

2. THE KICK. Frankly, I don’t utterly understand what The Kick actually means. Yes I know it’s used and done to bring one to consciousness (or to bring someone one dream-layer-level up closer to reality), but why does it have to be ‘a kick’ instead of like, ‘electrification’ or something more twisty than just ‘a kick’? It sounds too literal and gets me wondering, if ‘a slap’ wouldn’t wake someone up, then why ‘a kick’ would?

3. LIMBO. This one's eerie. Effing eerie. I mean what’s scarier than believing something that isn’t actually right? It’s like holding on some sturdy pole but it doesn’t even exist; u’re holding on nothing; u’re trusting in something... delusional? I don’t care if it’s insanely beautiful, because still, it’s like dwelling in some disorder world that’s impossible to be real. It could be as splendid as ur subconsciousness might want to, but it’s unreal. And to this extent, nothing sucks more than unreality. The deeper u’re drowned into ur limbo, the more u realize u’re in reality (while the fact u absolutely aren’t), the more u’re lost, the more u’re betraying ur own consciousness. Euw. And nonetheless, u share things with others in limbo. I mean EVERYTHING. How spooky is that, u couldn’t have ur own imagination, private delusion, and so on and so on? And even the more interesting point here is, how a limbo is a place for someone who makes a dream out of his/her memories. Weird, because all we do in dream is nothing but bringing our consciousness (including ur bygones and personal histories) down to our subconsciousness, isn’t it? We couldn't help it. And once u’re trapped in limbo, almost impossible for u to climb out. U’re stuck in ur own world forever and it’d possibly get more and more and more tedious. Freakish.

4. ARCHITECT. Of course not the literal meaning of the profession that twists my mind up. No, really. An architect is a God-like dream maker here. He/she’s the God that’s created the dream others’d like to dwell in for a while, voluntarily. Funny enough, the architect slash The God could ALSO be dead in his/her own dream, jeopardizing his/her own real life for some kind of twisted, layered, and possibly improvised dreams to simply incept a simple mind to someone. Eish, this is too complicated. And yes, a great architect has to be able to make a Paradox to confuse others and NOT involving his/her own memories to prevent any certain unwanted events to happen. Hmm, Paradox. How cool is that?

The idea of the whole movie is simple, that’s why I think it’s brilliant. It got us wondering about the existence and the distinct difference AND indifference between reality and the dream. It surely has altered little or less of some point of view u’ve had about “the dream”, right? The Dream used to refer something beautiful, dreamy, too good to be true, and hard to get over since it’s near to perfection. Tell u what? Nolan has drawn a bold line confronting all of those sayings about The Dream, except the last one : it’s hard to get over.

Bottomline is, the movie titled Inception is "the inception" itself. Effing Christopher Nolan did that. He cleverly has indeed got us questioning about things, a zillion things. Is the whole movie just a dream? Has Cobb been living in a dream –or limbo– for we don’t know how long? Or even bigger, are WE actually living in a reality, holding and feeling our own totems, and realizing that there’s a dream out there somewhere, certainly not THIS? Or are we merely adjusting in a dream –or limbo– we once have had, been rejecting to get out of, and subconsciously convincing our consciousness that we are not dreaming, when we are sanely and actually ARE dreaming? It’s not the fear of not waking up that freaks me out. In the contrary, one thing that scares me :

“If we really ARE dreaming, what would we do, how would we react after we wake up and realize that everything we’ve been holding on has vanished away?”

Mr. Sandman

2010-08-04T22:22:00.002+07:00

So recently i've been SO into this song and having it repeated all around and around and around again on my playlist. The song's actually telling us about Mr. Sandman, (whom I guess) is someone folkloric and magical with the duty to pour the magic dust (or beam?) for the sleepless people all around the world. But then I surfed the internet and got some slight enlightments, saying that perhaps Sandman's been 'revived' and reincarnated (?) into another fictional character that Neil Gaiman has made in one of his books, The Sandman. Well, however, I also found another gem within the net. My favorite Neil has once covered this song, too! Yes, I'm talking about (young) Neil Patrick Harris here. YUMM.

"Mister Sandman"

Mister Sandman, bring me a dream
(Bung, bung, bung, bung)
Make him the cutest that I've ever seen
(Bung, bung, bung, bung)
Give him two lips like roses in clover
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over

Sandman, I'm so alone
Don't have nobody to call my own
Please turn on your magic beam
Mister Sandman, bring me a dream

(bung, bung,bung,bung,bung,bung,bung,bung,
bung,bung,bung,bung,bung,bung,bung,bung,
bung,bung,bung,bung,bung,bung,bung,bung,
bung,bung)

Mister Sandman, bring me a dream
Make him the cutest that I've ever seen
Give him the word that I'm not a rover
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over

Sandman, I'm so alone
Don't have nobody to call my own
Please turn on your magic beam
Mister Sandman, bring me a dream

Mister Sandman, bring us a dream
Give him a pair of eyes with a "come hither" gleam
Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci
And lots of wavy hair like Liberacci

Mister Sandman, someone to hold
Would be so peachy before we're to old
So please turn on your magic beam
Mister Sandman, bring us
Please, please, please
Mister Sandman, bring us a dream

And another video brought by Chet Atkins. Instrumental. I love it to the bones. Definitely gonna show Dad this one soon.

So what do u think, guys? Lovely enough, me hope. U probably would want to check another version of this song by Pomplamoose, too. Enjoy. And have a nice, dreamy sleep, mortal creatures :)

Psyche

2010-07-28T22:46:00.004+07:00

I guess now I'm too busy enjoying time with Myself too much, I don't think I could share Me with anybody else and let them get the best of Me.
This might sound arrogant but, as egocentric as a catchy line I've heard once from this movie called The Women, "I am the man I want to marry!"

Time Warp

2010-07-10T19:40:00.004+07:00

Kali ini gw mau nulis postingan berbahasa suka-suka. Ga ngerti kenapa, tiba2 kepengen aja. Tolong dimaklumi. Dan mohon maaf kalo postingannya kepanjangan. Ga usah dibaca kalo emang males hahaha.

Oke. Jadi gw sebenernya baru selesai baca bukunya Raditya Dika yang Marmut Merah Jambu. Dari semua chapter yang ada, favorit gw adalah yang "How I Meet You, Not Your Mother". Bukan cuma karena judul chapternya diambil dari serial TV kesukaan gw, tp lebih karena gimana si Radit mengungkapkan sisi di dirinya dia yang kebanyakan orang ga tau sebelumnya. Gimana ternyata kita (gw dan si Radit) share the same standpoint tentang sebuah konsep : bukan Cosmological Coincidence, tapi yang Time Warping. Terkadang untuk bisa membelokkan waktu, atau dalam konteks ini, to bend a slow clock-ticking time, into some kind of several blinks of an eye, kita cuma butuh a right companion. Kadang-kadang right companion itu bisa berarti pacar, atau HTS-an (yes, gw juga ga ngerti kenapa gw pake istilah itu), atau temen-temen deket, atau even keluarga. Tapi yang jelas, konsep right companion itu ga sesimpel kedengerannya dan well, ga ada parameter yang pasti untuk bisa ngukur siapa aja yang bisa jadi right companion kita. Satu hal yang pasti dan clearly justified di bukunya Radit adalah, kalo lo bisa menghabiskan waktu berjam-jam sama orang, dan lo ngerasa itu cuma beberapa menit. Obrolan itu bisa berupa apapun, mulai dari bercandaan ringan kaya 'kenapa undur-undur jalannya mundur; dan apa ya yang ada di otaknya pemred majalah Teen yang ngizinin redaksinya bikin rubrik permanen Bieber's Corner?'; funny mockery; jokes; ngomongin orang; ngutip quote-quote bagus dari film; sharing pengalaman patah hati; sampe ke konteks yang berat ('berat' di sini subjektif, of course) kaya tujuan hidup, petuah-petuah filosofis, sampe ke teori-teori yang underrated atau even fenomenal dari berbagai macam aliran dan sudut pandang secara bebas dan infinite.

Dan di saat obrolan semacam itu tercipta, ga ada lagi istilah 'timing yang pas', karena semua momen rasanya pas dan baik secara sadar ataupun ngga, lo ngga pengen semua itu berhenti. Karena walaupun cuma mulut atau perhaps tangan yang ngomong, bagian di diri lo yang lain dan (if u're lucky enough) the universe also works its ass off and sets the time to bend by itself. Gw sendiri, entah emang udah kodrat DNA atau affection dari lingkungan temen-temen yang kebanyakan anak Komunikasi, termasuk orang yang suka ngomong. Call me talkative, noisy, annoyingly garrulous, chatty, atau even just a people-person, I fit them all. Mungkin orang-orang pikir gampang bagi gw untuk bisa ngobrol panjang lebar sama orang lain, tapi untuk bisa dapetin a witty conversation sekaligus time-warping, itu langka. In the more cheesy way, I found myself a criminal when I'm doing it; karena di saat itu untuk sementara gw merasa bisa memanipulasi dan mengkorupsi waktu. And hell, I don't even care if I got into jail and got noone there to bail me out because of it. Hahahahaha. But damn, di saat gw bisa nemuin orang semacam itu, I'd get errr, what do I call it in a proper way? Bukan addicted, tapi lebih ke arah can't get enough. Dan sekalinya gw nemu orang kaya gitu, gw ngga akan peduli siapa dia, koneksi sosial macam apa yang gw punya sama dia. Karena what matters is, there's nothing can ever be wrong about having a witty conversation. U just enjoy it while it lasts.

Di buku MMJ ini, Radit nyeritain secara implisit tapi cukup ngena gimana chemistry yg dia dapet sama mantan pacarnya, si Sherina Munaf. It was epic, in the most humane way. No, gw di sini bukan pengen ngomongin cinta-cintaan kaya Radit since I barely know about it, tapi gw cuma suka dengan cara si Radit menumpahkan semua emosi dan ekspresinya dia yang lagi jatuh cinta itu, in the least cheesy way, ngga irritatingly abundant, tapi juga ngga terkesan stiff and heartless. Saking sukanya, gw bahkan sempet kaya ikut-ikutan ngerasain jatuh cinta kaya si Radit pas baca chapter itu. Ikut-ikutan senyam senyum pas dia nulis betapa anxiousnya saat dy pengen nyium pipinya Shero (nama samarannya Sherina yang sebenernya D'OH jelas banget, kenapa juga mesti disamarin), ikutan angguk-angguk saat dia bilang lega si Shero ngga ngeliat dia sebagai orang yang ridiculously goofy kaya pasangan-pasangan date-nya yang lain, dan bahkan ikutan sedih saat chapter itu abis dan inget hubungan mereka akhirnya sekarang.

Ngga kaya Radit yang membahasakan pertemuan dia dan Sherina sebagai Cosmological Coincidence, gw lebih prefer membahasakan pertemuan gw dengan right companions gw sebagai semacam fraksi kecil dari konspirasi besar yang udah direncanakan sama Tuhan dan the whole universe for every each of us. Semuanya udah dibikin sketch nya di atas blue print, tinggal diselesein sama manusia-manusianya aja. Dan kalo diliat dari sudut pandang sosiologis, entah si right companion kita itu end up jadi sahabat, pacar, temen deket yang jarang ketemu, stranger yang occasionally pops up di contact list IM kita, kita semua bakal tetep inget bahwa orang-orang itu kaya semacam blessing dari Tuhan di kehidupan kita yang rata-rata tedious dan stressful. Karena mau apapun yang terjadi, dalam hidup terkadang kita ngga butuh uang, good movies, top-notch physical appearance, timing yang pas, sweet love life, atau bright minds; sometimes we merely need them all to be put altogether in a single witty conversation with right companions, and it could make the time warps and our life valueably counts.

Settled Gravity

2010-07-09T07:29:00.001+07:00

That time . . .
When love, converted from the thing it was,
Shall reasons find of settled gravity.

~William Shakespeare
Sonnet 49.5, 7-8

Being Eaten Up

2010-07-09T00:19:00.000+07:00

There are times when u get sick of everyone and everything. It's when people talking sounds like a horn honking, and a tiny thing like a door knob seems too irritatingly shining. U're even disgusted by ur own self. U start to blame ur ears for listening those honking horn, u start to accuse ur eyes for staring at the door knob. Ur mind even fails u at the most annoying way : overthinking the unnecessities, ignoring the sanity. By the time like that, u can do nothing but plummet urself in a profound sleep, hoping that the following day would be more... pleasant.

This Kinda Sweet Won't Kill

2010-07-08T20:35:00.002+07:00

"You know what? Don't tell anyone about this but, my mom never took me to buy good dresses for a beauty contest. That's why I didn't become Miss Texas. And that's why I joined the football team."

~ Friday Night Lights; A quote said by a guy in attempt to cheer his devastated girlfriend with mommy issue up. Irresistably sweet, in a witty way. Aww.

+++

2010-07-06T00:01:00.003+07:00

YELLO! Ahhhh. After wandering all over the place all through the uneasy nights, tonight I've finally found myself. My old self that love. It literally feels really appeasing and relieving, when u see urself in the mirror, smiling modestly with no more frowns nor long face. Yep. I handle myself better than before, I guess. Once again, God has snapped His fingers and lifted some weigh up from my shoulder. And u know what? I guess it's not about letting go; but it's all about acquiring and embracing more what's ur currently having, don't u think? :)

The Pink Carnation Starts to Revive.

2010-07-03T23:58:00.005+07:00

After about 29 days of its lovely era of bloom, The Pink Carnation started to get darkened and shrink. The sun has betrayed it and hid behind the dark, gloomy cloud. The Pink Carnation didn't understand what's the point of blooming with no Sun above it, all it knew was it's left there, all alone, under the pouring rain. The Pink Carnation couldn't do anything but sighed and pity itself for what's happened. The sun, the only companion The Pink Carnation's been put its biggest trust on, has eventually prevailed its own ego and left The Pink Carnation behind. The rain's heavy, the splash's too cold, and the gloom's way too sudden to come. The Pink Carnation's devastated, and couldn't be more perplexed.

It started to ponder what did it do wrong, why did the Mother Earth punish it this way. It got itself confused, what did The Sun mean by helping it bloom through all season yet decided to walk away and left it with a sad, unanswered big question mark. But after several moments of contemplation, The Pink Carnation finally found a bliss among the rain drops. On every tad bit of the pitter patter it heard, The Pink Carnation grasped a handful of fresh water, just enough to wake it up from the sweet dream The Sun's been faking up. Reality welcomed The Pink Carnation with a bitter yet honest smile. Ah, honesty.. Just like what it's been missing. And Reality showed The Pink Carnation a certificate of loyalty, saying that it's not going anywhere. Stamped, and signed. That does sound stiff and unsweet, but it's sturdy and stable. Just enough to support The Pink Carnation and sober it up from its reluctance.

At the end of that season, The Pink Carnation swore it's not gonna deteriorate nor die, it's gonna re-form itself into a more endearing form of flower instead. It'll blossom to make a new divine posy that consists of more honest colors. The Pink Carnation shed its little tears and waved, and promised to the world that it'll not rot nor dry, for the betrayal of The Sun and The Rain has taught it a wealthy lesson. From now on, The Pink Carnation holds into its own belief ONLY. It won't put so much belief nor love into something like it did to The Notorious Sun. It should've seen it coming, but then again, there's no point of looking back in anger for time could never be turned back. Mother Earth will pay back the price, The Pink Carnation thinks. Let The Sun celebrate its own joyful betrayal upon The Pink Carnation's grief, because even if that's so, the world will keep spinning around and the life will keep move along. And at the end of that unexpectedly short season, The Pink Carnation rejected to be beaten down to the core by the heavy rain. Now The Pink Carnation has started to revive; while mending its broken heart and preparing itself to be ready to serve and embellish the earth, more beautifully than before. The Pink Carnation, at last, promised to stand by its own, steadfast, strong, and invicible.

Cracked-up

2010-07-03T16:52:00.001+07:00

It's like losing something u didn't know u're gonna need of. Like waking up from a sweet dream to a bitter reality u have to dwell in. Like a pink carnation that never blooms.

A Letter to God part II

2010-07-03T00:23:00.001+07:00

Dear God,
Thanks for answering my prayer. It all came out in the most unexpected way, as usual. Ah, so 'You'. Dear God, I'm 20 and growing now. I start to know what's good and what's bad. I start to understand what a wounded heart is like. Maybe I'm a little too late to get it all, to say those 3 saint words out loud, but God, thank you. I know You know me. And I know that u know what You're doing up there :) all is well, all is well. Right, dear God?

A Letter to God

2010-07-02T19:01:00.001+07:00

Dear God,
I know I ditch You a lot. I forget You during my pleasant days, I leave You during my brightest moments. You gave me 'this' life I've been living, but You never walked away eversince. But dear God, mighty God, is it too much request when I asked You to endow me someone I can really trust, rely on, share with, cling upon, take me as I am, for that I'm tired of being tough and hiding my vulnerability? Not that I try to act snobbish and ungrateful, we both know that You've given me some terrible impersonations before, but I really don't get what kind of plan u're preparing me right now.

Dear God,
You're the one who knows and loves me the most. But please at least tell me, if what I was asking back then was too much and I don't deserve to get one. I've learned the meaning of solitude and what kind of virtues it could bring, but God please, guide and walk with me again this time, for I can't bear being left alone.

Time Like This

2010-06-29T19:25:00.003+07:00

There are days when u feel so inconveniently mixed up. When everything goes wrong, everyone drives u insane, and u don't belong in anywhere. What makes it sadder is, u've got nothing to blame, noone u can use as ur shelter from the drizzling rain. It is time when u feel like getting an unreciprocal holler from others. It is time when u feel like the world is conspiring to get u down on ur knees. It is time when u feel like screaming "CEASE!", hoping that somehow, everything, everyone, would listen. It is time when u could literally burst into tears in any minute, yet the upper-hand holds it back.

Solitude is underrated, u know. Because at time like this, when u're cold, shivering, sick, and all alone, and using all of those words with no even a tad bit of exaggeration, u really are by ur own. U feel so wrong, u could write some piece of ur recent feeling in ur home trip with motorbike and ignore all the risks. But hell, life's too rough to make a good sketch out of it sometimes. U could whine all along the way, but nothing would change anyway. So, yeah.

At ease.

2010-06-07T22:57:00.003+07:00

U know, life surprises u sometimes. One second u're down on ur knees, one wink later u're leaping jubilantly high above the ground. A simple gift from God could alter ur life, whether for a lifetime, or even for some miliseconds. It could come in a meagre, mediocre, or enourmous kind of form of state. Sometimes it's just a stone that trips u down during the morning trip, some other time it's just a single sweet line written by someone.

I may say life has surprised me enough, and I should thank God for it. The present didn't come as a perfectly wrapped package, it came in the simplest unotherwordly thing in this universe instead : a person. A presence of someone could cause anything to us : a laughter, a teardrop, a rage, a frown, or even a blush. And what happens to me lately is what makes me feeling grateful, so grateful I could smile while mumbling it. So this time, I think I wanna thank u.

For noticing me. For seeing me the way nobody else is. For lending me a pair of ears when no other man wants to. For convincing me things are gonna be fine when we all actually know they aren't. For giving me trust and bravery when I don't even possess any. For accompanying me in my loneliest nights. For enlightening my darkest hours. For being a comfy couch to rest my burdens on. And for many other littlest things that u might have given to this messed up self.

Dear God, I don't want to be overly naïve for nothing is steadfast and endless. But for at least once in my lifetime, let me endure my life being at ease, let me indulge myself in this convenience, even just for days. Or hours. Or even micro-seconds. It's worth the wait. So my Lord, for once in my life, please let me dwell in this new home, and live my recent life tranquilly. For at last, I'm no longer feeling all left out.

Marshmallow

2010-06-06T21:29:00.003+07:00

~~Love~~ is pretty much like a twisty marshmallow. Sweet, tender, and of course, twisted. Sometimes it's so short it could only last for a few chews, but sometimes it's too long it could fail us to stop munching. We may enjoy and yum the taste, but what we often forgot is its aftertaste. Toothache and diabetes are only few to follow after. And not to mention the hyperactivity that may caused by an intense dose of sugar (Ross Geller could show u exactly how). So for what it's worth, I think we should just restrain ourself from an overdose. Bite and chew all the way u like, but don't swallow it all too pronto. Because even a sugary marshmallow, could choke and kill.

The Pink Carnation Babbles.

2010-06-04T22:39:00.003+07:00

I’ve told u about The Pink Carnation Girl, haven’t I? I saw her tonight in pink pajamas, looked enthralled while holding a rectangle-shaped plastic case contains a CD. “It’s Gorillaz”, she said with a bright spark on her weary eyes. I didn’t throw any bait nor pull any trigger against her, when she abruptly told me a story. A story of her new life phase, new sight, new days.

She went to the city today to get some errands done, with a companion. Nothing’s abundant about this companion of hers, it’s just a guy who popped out of nowhere into her life by fate and yes, as naive as this sounds, has put her into a new different level of feeling. Not as extravagant as the word ‘magnificent’ or ‘dreamy’ since she barely even buys such thing, but she sees him as the first real human being who’s finally, willing to know her further.

“I’ve been telling the universe that i’m a mess. Most of them nod. Some others ignore. But a guy, came up and guilelessly stated that i’m inevitably a mess, yet a beautiful one.”

She presumed it as a tacky compliment, but like any other of this guy’s words, the cheesy words sometimes mean a refreshment.

A decent compliment.

A soothing composure.

A too-sweet-lollipop-yet-irresistably-delicious.

She never stops talking, like what she did just now, but this time, almost every inch of her motoric anatomy talked too. She told me how she’s been viciously fucked up over and over again by some douchebags back then. She also told me about the way she interprets the sacred word “~~Love~~” and how much she hates to put it into her personal sentence. She loves the L, but the L doesn’t love her back. Nobody understands that, she mentioned. She never pronounces her feelings well and keeps it within instead.

“Until lately, my contemplation has ended. I’m as naive as a bitch like me could be, but for the time being i’m as sure as a bitch like me could be.”

With all of her awkward diffidences, she eventually confessed. It was odd. I’ve never seen her this calmly happy.

“It’s like finding a comfortable couch at the end of an uproarous day, and it’s simply beautiful how everything’s at last, no longer has to be faked up. It’s like a breeze in a summer night. It appeases every nerve on my veins, as smooth as the way he looks into my eyes.”

She stopped right there, seemed a bit gagged realizing the overflowing feelings in her mind that took over. She sounded so fucking cheesy with a slight smile for she could finally restrain herself down to a (slight) stability. I asked her who the heck this guy is, but she merely smiled.

“I don’t get why people are so into labelling everything, but I think I don’t need to nickname him nor put any label to his forehead for i already enjoy his recent existence. Once again, no L word, but as good as it may sound, for the time being, perhaps nothing’s gonna beat this. I just divinely like who I am when I’m with him.”

The Pink Carnation Girl ceased the story with a simple smile drawn on her cheeks. As her mind wandered, mine fleed. This is the most naive story that’s ever been told, but I like it. Because now, somehow, in a way, it tastes real.

There Goes The Fear

2010-06-02T06:47:00.000+07:00

Out of here
We're out of here
Out of heartache
Along with fear
There goes the fear again

You turn around and life's passed you by
You look to ones you love
To ask them why ?
You look to those you love
To justify

Think of me when you're coming down
But don't look back when leaving town
Think of me when he's calling out
But don't look back when leaving town
Think of me when you close your eyes
But don't look back when you break all ties

-Doves, There Goes The Fear.

Look at those lines. Aren't we're as afraid as it says?

Pink Carnation

2010-05-31T15:13:00.004+07:00

Today, I found a girl sitting on her bed, pondering about her reflection in the mirror. She always considers herself as a naive, clueless, screwed up little girl who can't even figure herself out, and will never turn into a dame. She dwells in a hut of confusion, walks on an unmapped path, dreams about a solved puzzle of her life. She seems fragile and sturdy at the same time, but she can't decide which side she wants to buy. She barely understands about love, and skeptical about every tiny thing. Tried being both well-planned decisive and spontaneous before, but ended up fell into in the well of failure. She's got ambition to cover up her confusion, she's got feet to stand upon her shaking faith, and she's got all laughter in the world to conceal her unhealed wounds. Life has disappointed and dragged her down on her knees for we don't know how much, and tears have come down through those cheeks for we don't know how often. She looks back because she can't seek beyond her front. She speaks all the time, because she's had enough silence within her heart. She always says how much she loves utter solitude, when in fact she's just afraid of being judged and desires to be free. She loves her music collection as if it soothes all her gloom down. She desperately needs to share some of her burdens, and yet feels severely important to keep herself shut. She never knows anything. She never knows whether she's in need of anyone's guidance or slap to sober her up. All she knows is, she's all alone. She was, is, and always will be. She'll never make a ballad out of it, she'll just dance under the pouring rain instead.

Today, I found a girl sitting on her bed, with a pink carnation underneath her. Her head seems heavy, her eyes seem weary. When I asked her what's wrong, she sighed and answered, "Everything isn't right. So I think I have to turn left", as the pink carnation lingers underneath her.

A brief catch-up

2010-05-30T09:49:00.000+07:00

I've skipped almost a month of writing this blog up, haven't I? Well, a brief catch-up is my life's been kinda uproarous lately. A dear friend of mine said it's the rollercoaster ride that's never gonna end, true enough. At times I felt like scattered down and couldn't bear it no more. But God handed me a remedy labelled "bestfriends" with no prescription fee needed. My wounds were slowly healed and yes, I wonder how in the world they understand me so well when I don't even so. Love you, guys.

On the slightly brighter side, I've named my lappie (by request slash provocation), "Toshi-kun". I know. Ridiculously nonsense. But what the hell. He helped me ran throughout the previous final exam, night and day, high and low. Anyway, enough with the electronical babble. Hereby I present u a sad, sad song with a sad, sad lyrics. And by sad, I meant deep.

Lyrics | Burt Bacharach lyrics - One Less Bell To Answer lyrics

K.O.

2010-05-29T23:55:00.004+07:00

Lyrics | Glee Cast lyrics - Taking Chances lyrics

Been in a while. Gotta admit, the lyrics has beaten me down right to the core. Well, what can u do? Some songs were made to take the best out of ur worst, right? I think I start to like it more and more, though. And for You, what up? Been a while, eh? :)

Molecules

2010-05-29T23:46:00.000+07:00

"I feel like if someone were to touch me, I'd dissolve into molecules."
~ Jesse, Before Sunset

I think I've mentioned often enough about how much i LOVE that movie, along with Before Sunrise. Kick-ass quotes are always turning me on, imagine a hundred in a movie, then. Or two. Whatever. I'm re-quoting this very quote frankly because I kinda feel that way all the time. Weird enough? I don't know which way's better to sum it up : fragile and vulnerable, or untouchable and snobbishly independent. Crap.

can't help

2010-04-19T06:18:00.000+07:00

I can't help thinking this is what we should've been from the very beginning.

Nothing had to alter, noone had to hurt and be hurted.

Self-control DOES rule, but the ache sucks.

Damn this is weirdly tough.

I Do Sweat The Petty Things.

2010-04-18T11:02:00.000+07:00

I don't get why i always overthink about petty things. I mean it's not like i'm a genius or something, but every little piece of mind i created during the overthinking process is always backfiring me with the nonsense fears and sorrows. And i can never withdraw all those numerous bad feelings. I wonder, why do i always find it hard to get over things? Is it just me, or the life pretty much evolves way too fast and advance? Hmmm... debatable.

8

2010-04-18T10:13:00.001+07:00

I want to accomplish things.
I want to stop staring at starless skies.
I want to compose a thousand straight faces.
I want to cut feelings.
I want to bear wounds.
I want to try stuffs.
I want to believe in my positivities.
I want my faiths back.

I simply want to be on my way.

Burberry Porsum Fall 2010 RTW

2010-04-09T05:57:00.003+07:00

I bet Christopher Bailey’s this Fall 2010 collection had made all of his fans confused to pick which one to go home with. Still, he stayed on the Burberry’s comfort zone this time, but weren’t those jackets too warm and cool to resist? The authenticity was well-stayed in this collection. All of those fur and leather jackets, blazers and long coats, some of them were embellished with copper buttons or belts or zippers or even stiff shoulders are impossible to be just passed by. We wanted and them all (and still do). The boots were enthralling, made us all long for snow or rain to fall to match them with. Pleated blouses, skirts, and even lace dresses had gotten into their hearts. Not to mention the snakeskin above-knee-high boots, mashed up with body-hugging skirts and (seemed to be) tank tops, and still, studded clutches, appeared to indulge their loyal fans. After a long march of beige arrays, Burberry Porsum gave a glance of marine blue-blazers with belts and zippers; enough to even gag more our mouth. And those pair of shorts matched with long-sleeved tight shirt and another pair of the above-knee-high leather boots also cropped to make a different casuality. Bright colors appeared in pink and purple drapery skirts, pale green zippered blouse, and of course, those yellow huge bags. And have i mentioned the presence of white? Whites came up on fur coat and jacket with belts. With this kind of safely beautiful kind of collection, it didn’t took a bravery to spit a different taste of Burberry Porsum to make this collection all sold out – in only three days; and it happened on a pre-selling event.

Alexander McQueen Fall 2010 RTW

2010-04-09T05:19:00.007+07:00

It always took a team of geniuses to create such jawbreaking, nerve-racking, and extravagant-but-not-too-much fashion damn collection. By the time of his death, Alexander Mcqueen himself had already finished approximately 80% of the whole collection. The clothes looked all luxurious with the damask pattern, the royal gold-maroon color combination, and some great capes of kingliness cutting. The ball gowns were also splendid, as they’ve always been, this time came up with the color of broken white, cream, black, and not to mention the unforgettable the one with the high-neck golden feathers in a mermaid dress. The shape of the cocktail dresses were amusingly unusual, in a kind of refreshing way. McQueen put some pleated skirt altogether with patterned long-sleeved blouse with statement ankle boots, and his brilliant-sewn drappery on both his cocktail dress and ball-gown collections. The above-knee-high leather boots seemed enlightened and cranked up the look of some cocktail dresses, pretty much got ur attention. The scent of his name were smelled in almost every piece of this collection. All in all, McQueen this time has made his own de luxe last statement with this collection. A sumptuous way to say goodbye.

Andrew Gn Fall 2010 RTW

2010-04-09T05:03:00.002+07:00

It seems like this year’s Fall is a military season for Andrew Gn. Inspired by a Louis XV commode in his Paris apartment, some of his antique furniture, Montiesquieu’s Lettres Persanes, Andrew presented sexy-fierce collection this time. Not to mention his signature embellishments, and a bit of 21st century spin, Andrew called this whole arrays exhibition as “Modern Rococo”. Who said military look is always and always about buttoned tight jacket with army-green kind of clothes? With this collection, Andrew splatted out his strong statement with the bold presence of velvets, leathers, stiff shoulders, (of course,) buttoned military jacket (some of them were embellished with floral embroideries, beaded belts, a bit furs, and both the knee and ankle boots. Mostly appeared with black and blue, Andrew seemed pretty reluctant to show off the other colors; turned out to be the exact decision, though. The cocktail dresses were the above-knee-length drappery, appeared beautifully behind all of those fierce jackets. Make an androginous look seemed a bit girly and elegant. The night gowns were endearing, especially the one with the least embellishment : the night blue long dress, with the perfect drappery on its above waist section. The bright-colored ruffles blouses also attended the runway, matched with pairs of velvet trousers and platforms. With this collection, Andrew Gn seemed safely appealing his loyal clientele, might be along with some new ones with different fierce fashion preferency.

Shameful

2010-04-07T06:53:00.001+07:00

So again, i stayed up since past midnight until the sun rises up. Duty call. And *ahem*, some of mental breakdowns. You know, i've been missing something so much. Something warm, something soothing, something.. humble. I despise how i plummeted myself down into some kind of steep chasm, ended up wounded at the bottom of it. So this is what it's like to play with fate, this is how it feels to step out of your mind? I lost it, and it's just the way it had to be.

Well i hereby try not to sound emotionally annoying as usual. So i guess we just recklessly passed it by. We did not walk, we ran instead. We missed the amusement park, merry-go-round, cotton candy booth, and friendly bench on that warm corner. We naively rushed in as if we were chasing a rainbow behind the heavy rain or something. We started out delightfully, way too enthralling we thought it'd be so much easier to make a commitment out of it. Right at that moment we didn't see the borderline we drew at the dawning of the trip. It got too high, that's why it ended up too low. We were both too clumsy, too reckless. Inevitably too under-grown.

This does hurt me, i may say in melodramatic way. But there's no point of looking back in anger, neither a use of cursing what once's come in. Maybe it's noone's fault. It's merely about taking a wrong small decision that leads up to another bigger matter. Domino effect. Like taking a wrong color of crayon to make a drawing. Spoiled because a slight mistake. We were all innocent, we just didn't see it coming. I watched the way u passed by without walking the walk, i watched the way u spoke without making an attempt to talk that sleek talk. And i see how u faithfully march along by now, i see how u're building another bridge and try not to fall off for the umpteenth time. I just can't see how u're not having even a glance in the mirror after all those blunders. But then again, what's dug too shallow isn't so hard to be covered up, ain't it? All what's done can't be undone, the clock can never be unwound by itself, but in this case.. oh how i hope it'd be an exception.

Hammering Homer

2010-04-04T03:42:00.003+07:00

Oh dear. Did i mention how i love The Simpsons and all of its sincere humor? It's only on this show where taboos aren't filthy, and stupidity is a brilliance. I mean, look at Homer Simpson. He's one of a kind (like, literally) : a drunkard, worthless, bald, loyal, utterly moronic, and doesn't laugh at even his funniest jokes. So they said laughter is the best medicine? I say Homer Simpson is the best drugstore ever. Hold ur laugh, hereby i present u some of his blessed ingeniouses slash cursed foolishnesses :

"What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway."

"I hope I didn’t brain my damage"

"I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman."

"Save me, Jeebus."

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover."

"I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me."

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

“Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.”

“Lord help me, I'm just not that bright.”

“If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing.”

“You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.”

“I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun”

"Do you want to change your name to Homer, Jr.? The kids can call you Hoju!"

Mucho Gusto!

2010-04-03T15:56:00.003+07:00

Funny. Instead of goofing around in a state of misery and woe due to some 'heartbreaking' circumstance i'm recently having, i find myself having this certain gusto. Yes, i've learned a lot, but i guess it's all just about the failed achievement and self-unfulfillment. No need to sweat the petty things. Well, the point is, i've seen the difference between a longing and a necessity. Hail to the process of immaturity! :D And now, i proudly present, QUEEN, to show u all what i really mean. Enjoy! (I wish i could put that song in, but heck, i don't know how).

Don't Stop Me Now - QUEEN

Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive
And the world, I'll turn it inside out yeah
I'm floating around in ecstasy
So don't stop me now
Don't stop me
'cause I'm having a good time
Having a good time

I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go go go there's no stopping me
I'm burning through the sky yea
Two hundred degrees that's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit
I'm travelling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

Don't stop me now
I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball
Don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time
Just give me a call
Don't stop me now
'cause I'm having a good time
Don't stop me now
Yes I'm having a good time
I don't wanna stop at all

I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars
On a collision course
I am a satellite
I'm out of control
I'm a sex machine ready to reload
Like an atom bomb about to oh oh oh oh oh explode!
I'm burning through the sky yeah
Two hundred degrees that's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit
I'm travelling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic woman of you

Don't stop me don't stop me, don't stop me hey hey hey!
Don't stop me don't stop me ooh ooh ooh
I like it
Don't stop me don't stop me
Have a good time good time
Don't stop me don't stop me
ohhhhhhh!

ohhhhhhh
Burning through the sky yeah
Two hundred degrees that's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit
I'm travelling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

Don't stop me now
I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball
Don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time
Just give me a call
Don't stop me now
'cause I'm having a good time
Don't stop me now
Yes I'm having a good time
I don't wanna stop at all

Da da da da daaaa da da da
Ha da da ha ha ha ha
Ha da da da da

Stud

2010-04-02T18:14:00.001+07:00

"Oh he's just huggable. And complicated. And a little bit of a jerk. Just enough so you think 'maybe u can change him'."

~ Marshall, from this awesome tv series How I Met Your Mother.

The quote came out back when Lily, his fiancee, described about the hottest dude in their college that's going to be nude-painted. How pleasingly random.

Late Meal

2010-04-01T05:37:00.004+07:00

.....And finally the main course's served. After all this time. After a whole lousy day of waiting in vain, grouching, and growling-tummy. The hot, supposed-to-be-appealing dish looked at me in the eyes and said, "The chef couldn't handle me back then. He's fucked and messed up. Well now u need to bite me, come on", and gave me that blinky glimpse. The scent of its grilled meat had me on its path at first, but then i remembered how depressing the whole day was. I've lost my appetite. Thank you, but my tummy's been way too overbearing and too sober to accept such uber-late meal. I don't need a food that doesn't even understand when to feed my hunger. I stood up, gave the food such glance, and mumbled, "Find another pea-brain to feed. I don't need u" as i walked away, jammed on my sore stomach.

psssh.

2010-03-31T20:36:00.000+07:00

"Oh, you're too worthless to even deserve my rage."

(I know, how cool is that?)

Lean On Me

2010-03-28T01:31:00.002+07:00

I'm addressing this to YOU, whose life might have been bummed so hard that no remedies could even cure it. I might have never done anything big for u, but please, let me at least give a small shoulder to handle a bit of ur burdens or a little hand to help u carry on. Because to me, u actually DO matter.

Lean On Me

Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.
But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.
Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

Please swallow your pride, if I have things you need to borrow.
For no one can fill those needs that you won't let show.

You just call on me brother when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

Lean on me when you't not strong, and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna' need somebody to lean on.

You just call on me brother if you need a friend.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

If there is a load you have to bear that you can't carry.
I'm right up the road, I'll share your load if you just call me.

Call me ( if you need a friend)
Call me

Scarcity

2010-03-26T20:27:00.003+07:00

"You are not rare. You're just a limited edition."

(Randomly taken from my dearly Delli's facebook status. And no, this has nothing to do with anyone u're thinking i'm thinking about. It's just so cute i thought i would re-quote it.)

Think. It is.

2010-03-25T02:55:00.001+07:00

Doesn't inequal and unreciprocal relationship confuse u? Like, it makes urself richer and messier. How that is possible, i don't even get. Errrr, what? Never been in one before? Well try it then. It gets u wondering and tingled at the same time. It's good as long as u think it is, don't worry. ;D

Self-embarrassment

2010-03-25T02:17:00.000+07:00

I hate when i find myself being way too emotional.

Sickens me so bad i couldn't even look at myself on the mirror.

Differential Confusion

2010-03-25T02:11:00.000+07:00

This is a yesterday conversation.

J : "Ty, i used to think that a failed relationship is always about hurting and getting hurted. But then i realized i was wrong. There's this thing such as a different point of view, and that's normal to be separated because of it, dear."

R : "But ain't such difference makes every relationship richer?"

J : "Sometimes it is, sometimes it simply isn't. Trust me. It's humane being different and wanting something in common on a person of a relationship. Then if u don't get it, u can let it go. Nothing's wrong in trying to get what u want."

Now this is me, having a midnight monologue.

R : "What if i merely want a reciprocal connection on a relationship? What if it always involves an equality which i'd never find any? There's never a thing as identicality between a two different person, i know. I know what i want, i just don't know what i need. What if i end up being all alone? This fear is normal. I know this is a self-justification and once again, this is normal. I think."

Bad Joke

2010-03-23T01:45:00.003+07:00

Look, life's playing a joke on us. And in a way, we all wait for the words "April Fool!" to be hollered out. Well of course, fools, that never happens.

Dream Away, Dream Away.

2010-03-23T01:26:00.006+07:00

Despite of a stack of assignments that's been waiting to be slaughtered, i just now fell asleep at the front of my laptop. I'm pretty sure it's either because of the exhaustion or the pillow that's never been so tempting, i lied myself down in a hope i'd be refreshed the moment after. But during the fucked up night like this, we all know it's never just a forty winks. This time, it was pretty much eighty winks or so.

So that's not even the point, of course. It's that i had this weird dream. A dream about such goodbye i've been predicting, such farewell i've been seeing it coming. Well, not that i'm once again being skeptical about a kind of change or improvement, but just so u know, the hints are like a picture of a colorful, glittery rainbow drawn on a blank sheet of paper. Hard to ignore since it distinctly gets ur attention. And so to speak, the dream felt so real. I mean insanely real. What makes me frown is how bigheartedly & nonchalantly i faced the farewell without spoling anything. Mostly like the most non-heartbreaking breakup i've ever seen. And i woke up to the urge of having a reality check, somehow hoping that the dream was just a dream, in a way. And strangely enough, i'm seeing it more clearly now. This is like a time bomb. The time is ticking, and all i can do is prepare myself some bunk to survive from the explosion that might happen in any minute. And speaking of explosion, i know it always involves some woes and suffers, but then again, what's the point of hoping an improvement of something that doesn't even seem like moving? I've had my battle already.

If a dream really was a wish ur heart makes, people, then go ahead. Dream away before the bomb shatters u down. Dream away.

smallest thought

2010-03-21T03:25:00.002+07:00

I'm lifting you up
I'm letting you down
I'm dancing til dawn

I'm fooling around

I'm not giving up
I'm making your love

This city's made us crazy and we must get out

Beg

2010-03-20T17:13:00.002+07:00

Dear God, i know u're existing and recently giving me such a mid-term test. But if it's not too much, please....... give me a tiny bit of ur guidance. Please, God.

Please.

Self Consciousness

2010-03-19T02:31:00.004+07:00

Let's speak of facts and slaps in the face. I just realized that i'm all about messiness. This isn't an emo post, this is more like a self-consciousness poured in several lame points. Starts from now.

I'm such a negative minded person. In sometimes, the most annoying way. Scientifically proved just today.
I take everything incorrectly. I might be the most judgemental person ever born, and by the most i mean "the most". I interpret things just way out of line it hurts.
People tend to get me wrong and i always end up with such lonesomeness that kills.
I care too much about people that i listen and do whatever craps they speak of.
I do apologize for my mistakes. Good? Trust me, NO if u're doing it way too much.
I'm a big sucker at decision making. Pretty much akin to my 11 year old sister.
I effing whine too effing much. No, beyond too much. I wish i had a smaller mouth and a bigger heart.
I'm pretty much afraid of everything. I lose faith too easily, i get bent too fast, and i spoil things way too often. All in all, i'm afraid of doing all of these yet end up doing those by some kind of accident.
I think too much. Mostly emotional trivialities and little things that screw my own mind up. Again, it worsens everything else.
I can't make my mind up that well. I've got small brain, but enough to perplexes and get the best of me.
I'm fuckingly way too emotional and getting annoyingly melodramatic too frequently. Tell u what, this is more exhausting than u've ever imagined.
I don't cry, i just plummet myself down in grief. Once in a blue moon i do weep, but hell. I get sad too easily and funnily enough, tears just don't seem willing to even pour a single drop.

Yes, i need such kind of slaps and tortures to make myself sober. Oh well, this is probably the most insightful lesson i've ever gotten in my life within only almost 2 months. Thank you. Seriously.

Judgements & Selfness

2010-03-18T00:20:00.000+07:00

People are so judgemental sometimes.
And sometimes, ur shoulders aren't wide and robust enough to handle all the burdens.
Who told u that u're not alone? The truth is, u are, dear.
We are all alone.

Mystery of Misery

2010-03-18T00:10:00.002+07:00

U know what life tries to tell us about?

Probably this all isn't about trying so hard, or failing, or even hurting. Maybe it's simply about taking an accidentally wrong choice. U just stepped on the incorrect path, so whatever kind of attempt u try to put on, u'd end up on the wrong place. And why did u make such mistake? How did it happen? How do u find out? Nobody could ever answer that. It just happened, it's there, it's just God snapping fingers on us so that we'd learn some lesson and strengthen ourselves up. And mistakes, dear fellows, who said it'll always be distinct? Aren't we, humans just a merely stack of mistakes and bruises? Because we'll never know what's right before experiencing what's wrong. So to speak, we'll never make a precise decision before picking on the incorrect one.

Do i sound positive enough?

That's What You Get

2010-03-16T13:26:00.001+07:00

That's What You Get -- Paramore

No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore.

It's your turn, so take a seat we're settling the final score.

And why do we like to hurt so much?

I can't decide

You have made it harder just to go on

And why, all the possibilities where I was wrong

That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.

And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here.

'Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here.

I still try holding onto silly things, I never learn.

Oh why, all the possibilities I'm sure you've heard.

That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating (beating)

And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

Pain make your way to me, to me.

And I'll always be just so inviting.

If I ever start to think straight,

This heart will start a riot in me,

Let's start, start, hey!

Why do we like to hurt so much?

Oh why do we like to hurt so much?

That's what you get when you let your heart win!

Whoa.

That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

Now I can't trust myself with anything but this,

And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa

deprived enough? try the word 'Loyal'.

2010-03-14T10:47:00.003+07:00

Isn't being faithful sometimes torturing? It fucking is. When u know that u're being abandoned and left behind, and yet u're still standing there, awaiting for some kind of slight concern or hope to at least be seen. Even when it does feel like ur heart is falling apart and ur vulnerability's growing up, u still try to jam on ur patience and break down. I mean why don't u just distract urself? Why don't u just lurk around for something (or i may say, someone) more humanely divine, more irresistably modest? The only problem is, u can't. We simply can't.

How ridiculous, the more ignorant someone acts, the more strangely endearing they become. Those kind of indifferent brats should've been vanished for playing unfairly. Who said love is like a game? More like a race at a snail's pace, bitch.

Anyway, thanks to Indie who spotted this thought of mine in her blog post.

lose some to win some

2010-03-11T00:39:00.002+07:00

"A heart that hurts, is a heart that works."

when fate talks

2010-03-09T01:17:00.001+07:00